is gratitude all it’s cracked up to be?
We’ve all heard the modern buzz around the power of gratitude. There are countless studies, podcasts, lectures, and books claiming that focusing on what we are grateful for can drastically improve our lives. Such claims credit gratitude for having the ability to rewire our brains, uplift our moods, calm our nervous systems, improve our relationships, foster hope for the future, and even improve the quality of our sleep. That is an impressive array of benefits!
Despite popular culture’s fascination with the benefits of gratitude, many spiritual traditions have long emphasized the importance of giving thanks, and doing it often. But how exactly can we tap into this wisdom and use gratitude as a practice for creating balance in our lives?
I can’t vouch for the research or argue the science, but I can offer a story.
Several years ago, at the height of my PTSD symptoms, I started making gratitude lists. Every morning, I wrote down 5 things that I was grateful for. Caffeine, sunshine, and hot water usually took up three spaces, while the other two items typically included something about friends and family or small wins from the day before. When I began making lists, I was desperate for relief from the heaviness I was surrounded by in my international humanitarian work, the constant pain and terror I felt in my body from unprocessed trauma, and the negativity I consumed from the media. I don’t remember liking the list-making practice, or believing that it would make a significant impact on my life, but it was something to try that took very little effort on my part - or so I thought.
After a few days, and then weeks, I noticed how difficult it was for me to name things I was truly grateful for. I could list 10,000 things that I felt I should’ve been grateful for, but those things were rooted in guilt, not gratitude. So, I started small and watched many moments of stillness pass before I could come up with 5 true things each morning. This isn’t because I was unaware of my privilege and power, it was because my life had been structured to focus solely on the pain, lack, injustice, and fear that existed in the world. This centering of the world’s pains completely consumed my capacity for joy. It took years of fairly pathetic 5-itemed lists (and regular therapy) for me to pinpoint the resistance I had to focusing on the positive. The truth is, I didn’t know how to hold the world’s injustices and tragedies with its goodness.
Through my gratitude practice, I brought my view of the world back into balance. I slowly began to embody the belief that joy and heartbreak can share the same seat. Choosing to be grateful didn’t mean I was turning a blind eye to the problems in the world, I was simply seeing the world more clearly - for the container of contradiction that it is.
Slowly, my morning lists got longer and more profound. I found my mood improving. I watched myself take note of the wonderful things that were happening in and around me throughout the day so I could include them on my list the next morning. I saw my focus shift to appreciate the miracle of a mango on my plate, a warm breeze on my skin, or the colors of a fall leaf. Maybe my brain was being rewired. Maybe the permission I gave myself to focus on the good led to a balancing of the scales within me. Or perhaps it was the simple act of noticing that I was out of balance in the first place.
Whatever the reason, daily gratitude helped me get there.
What does daily gratitude do for you?
Love,
J
Reflection:
Do you have a gratitude practice? If so, how is/isn’t it serving you?
What do you notice in your mind, body, and spirit when you feel truly grateful?